I’m not sure if it’s called bitterness, or if this is just the way how it should feel, but thanks for making me realize my priorities. I’ve sacrificed so much, but I’m still thankful that I didn’t totally leave my other organizations for you, coz if I did give my everything to you, I’d probably have nothing right now. But I would never leave them coz I did commit during the start of the year. I know and keep my words.

I might have not gotten you, but you sure did make me realize how important I am to other people’s lives. And I won’t stop improving, coz that was the reason you gave me. But here I am, telling you how much this hurt me. And I’m not yet over it but I will be. When you said that I never needed the position, I didn’t really agree. I wanted and needed the position coz that will give me the power to change and improve on things I found flaws with. Partly, I wanted to push myself and be better. How can I improve when I’m stuck in a lowly position right? With big power comes big responsibilities. When you gave me the OIC position, I learned to love it. It was far from what I used to do. I loved it coz it opened me to different ideas, different experiences and I wanted it so much. It was like breathing new air. But the life I wanted was probably not meant for me, it hurts like hell, but I don’t blame anyone. i don’t regret anything I did. Though I’m not sure if I can still have the enthusiasm like how I used to. My dream was crushed, it’s not really easy. But thanks, I will stick with you, no matter how many people tell me to leave because I have come to love this organization. Moreover, I’m guess I’m just not a quitter, and I know how to commit. Unlike other people who’d commit at the start of the year, and due to change of plans, will just quit. Just like that. Working without heart and passion. Very much disappointing. But that’s a different story.

So anyway, just make sure that you’d make my stay worth it, and that you’d be better. I will try to be better too, even without the position. I will get over this eventually.


This is the last time that I shall be talking about this issue. I’m not mad, I’m disappointed and hurt. But I’m accepting things little by little. :) I’ll leave this as a memory of 2011 :)

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